What Does Belonging Really Mean?

What Does Belonging Really Mean?Book club the other night.We were talking about Brené Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection.Shame.Perfectionism.The loops we get stuck in.And then—belonging.A prompt was given regarding belonging.And before I knew it, the words came out of my mouth:What is belonging?Who actually feels like they belong anywhere?I wasn’t saying it from pity.Not from victimhood.Just truth.The truth that most days—I don’t know if I belong anywhere.Not fully.I’ve had moments.Glimpses.Places, people, flashes of time—but not a steady, whole-bodied belonging.And here’s the wild part:it’s not even about rejection.No one’s pushing me out.Still, in the middle of the circle,I find myself feeling like I don’t belong.One of the women suddenly said:“Not feeling like you belong anywhere is a shame response.”And damn…I think she’s right.Because how many times have I felt awkward in a room,out of place in a conversation—and my immediate conclusion is:I don’t belong here.Who told me that belonging had to mean perfect ease?Who told me that the second discomfort shows up, belonging leaves the room?The more I think about it—maybe “I don’t belong” has been one of my protectors.A way to run before rejection has the chance to catch me.A shield I throw up when I’m uncomfortable,so I don’t have to risk the possibility of being unwanted.And yet—there’s another part of me.The part that believes belonging can be bliss.The part that whispers there is a placewhere connection doesn’t break,authenticity isn’t rationed,and relationship is the air you breathe.Call it heaven.Call it eternity.Call it whatever you want.But my spirit believes in a belonging that doesn’t fracture.A belonging that nothing can take away.So maybe both are true.Maybe shame convinces me I don’t belong here. Maybe Spirit reminds me I belong to something bigger.And maybe the work is learning how to hold both. To keep showing up in imperfect spaces, while still longing for the daywhen belonging will feel like bliss.So I’ll leave you with this:When you feel like you don’t belong, why is that?Who gave you your definition of belonging?Is it actually yours?And do you still want to carry it?Or is it time to rewrite what belonging means for you?With love,ADL